A Thousand Kisses Deep
by LuteLyre
Summary: 4th Better with three! A stupid sake bottle, a stupid dare, and three stupid ninja kids. Young sannin wistfulness and humor with a side helping of fluff.


A/N: Oh boy! Love the idea of a younger version of these three. Hope you like! Before all the treachery and creepy jutsu. Before Dan. Before the before.

Warning! M for sexual situations and language. (Mostly language)  
>Also warning: I might've gotten carried away with the humor here. Ah well.:)<p>

Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto. Damn.

Threesome: Orochimaru/Tsunade/Jirayia

A stupid sake bottle, a stupid dare, and three stupid ninja kids.

A Thousand Kisses Deep

A thousand chuunin teams have been seated at the bar stools before them. A thousand will sit after. A thousand shinobi had joked and flirted, insulted and griped and gotten drunk off their asses. Just like them.

Tsunade glares into her cup of sake. Trust Jiraiya to turn everything into something perverted. Trust the hidden Lech in Orochimaru she knew was hiding behind his stuck-up façade to agree with it. Trust her to be too drunk to knock their heads together already.

Stupidity ruled their lives apparently.

Jiraiya grins and swipes his thick white mane out of his eyes. "C'mon Tsunade-chan. It's not that big of a deal." He's drunk already too, hiccupping occasionally, and it makes her amused. Hiccups do not become him. They only turn him cuter then manly, like he was always going for. Orochimaru's oh-so-cool enigma-y look was beyond the prematurely silver and ever-joking teen.

Tsunade would've giggled at his stupid hiccup-cute grin if she hadn't been supposed to be pissed off.

Orochimaru has a bit of a glint in his eyes, but he tosses his hair nonchalantly like he doesn't care. He's started to grow it longer and longer. Tsunade thinks it looks stupid.

This whole place was stupid.

The bar is quiet late at night, the stools are worn with the countless bodies that had sat on them before, and the propetier is giving them snide looks like he's regretting servicing them. They are a silly, mismatched team; the dark and secretive snakenin, the perpetually clumsy and struggling pervert, and the granddaughter of a dead hokage who was a bratty lazy-ass. They're not of age to drink really, even though this bar serviced ninja above gennin rank on principle, but still the bartender looks at them like they better shell out whatever mischief they were thinking up and go, because that fourth bottle of the strongest sake he had was the last one they were getting. He grumbles and is shifty-eyed.

Orochimaru sneers and sniffs at him like he was the highest ranking daimyo in court. He was always acting like he was royalty.

Stupid.

She focused on the sake glass again and sighs exasperatedly, resignedly. She was drunk enough already. Hopefully she just won't remember tomorrow.

"Alright!" Jiraiya shouts elatedly, knowing she's been cowed. He pummels the slightly smiling Orochimaru's shoulders and tugs her hair. "Down the hatch Princess! Let's see you drain it!"

He winks at Orochimaru. "I wanna be the first, kay Rochi-roach?"

The 15 year old chuunin glares and slugs his stomach. "Don't call me that fuckwit."

"Well you are. Rochi-roach, hiding from the sun, learning your little jutsus. Me, I know women like a nice, tan-skinned man." He leers and Orochimaru scoffs arrogantly, twisting his lips. "Liar. You know nothing except what you find from your porn-books asshole."

"Hey! I bet one day ill know enough to _write_ one!"

A thousand bickers. Seen right here at these very stools, on nights just like tonight. Just a Chuunin team, recovering from a mission. Just three kids, downing drinks like they could handle'em and trading jokes, being silly, a thousand fights fought and a thousand more to go.

Tsunade bops her fist on Jiraiya's head, who is yelping indignantly. When had this gone from a serious and down-cast drink because of the severity of loss from their last mission to a bantering dare-session for perverts to enjoy?

Somewhere along the way, they always lose sight of these things.

Stupidly.

"Hey! Want this to happen or not? I'll do it fag-face, and then you'll be sorry you have to buy my lunch for two weeks."

They both turn to watch her again, sullen but engrossed anyway. She sticks out her tongue at them and lifts the shot glass. So what if her fingers are unsteady and her eyes cross?

As expected by Jiraiya, she can't down it with no reaction. Her expression scrunches obviously at the alcohol that burns her throat before she can stop herself and Jiraiya hoots.

Stupid, stupid dare.

"Knew it!" He crows, "Me first Tsunade-chan!" He moves closer, ignoring her 'I will kill you in this life _and _the next' glare.

"Gonna keep your promise Princess?"

She sighs in a mix of unwillingness and defiance and then grabs his side locks to mash their lips together while Orochimaru shifted forward eagerly to see despite himself.

Jiraiya's lips are soft and full despite the alcohol tinge, and he's surprisingly tentative, which she likes. Deciding to do it right if she's gonna do it, and she is, she slants her mouth over his and taps her tongue against his parted lips. He makes a startled little sound and then kisses her back with vigor. He's overeager and too intense, but its whatever. She can tell he means it.

He's got a little something in those lips of his too, she thinks in time he'll be a great kisser.

She pulls away and wipes her mouth, a little triumphantly.

"So there."

But Jiraiya's open-mouthed glaze-eyed look is abruptly pulled away and absent to gloat at as Orochimaru situates himself in front of her. She raises her brows at him.

"Me next."

Never one to mince words eh?

She smiles, leans forward, and kisses him too. It's different. Orochimaru's lips taste like sake and a hint of scales, but they are smooth and move with hers immediately. His tongue is dexterous and pulls her in without consent, and she lets him take control because he moves like he needs it, even though it grates her senses.

When they pull away, both are out of breath and Jiraiya is as well from watching. Perv.

The three teens stare at each other for a few brief minutes before Tsunade mutters "Stupid dare-" under her breath and then fixes her eyes on them. "Now you two. Only fair."

"Absolutely fucking _not_."

"Like hell! That wasn't part of the deal!"

She glares a murderous look towards them as if contemplating which of the bones in their legs would be the most fun to break first. Even Orochimaru shudders, but the two boys still glare at each other from the corners of their eyes anyway.

She sighs. They are drunk. They are kids. This is all monumentally stupid and she won't care about it tomorrow, but for now she wants things even, and this was the way to do it. Seriously, she just wanted them to humor her already.

Boys. Idiotic, the whole lot of them.

"Fine! I'm daring you. Each drinks a shot with no reaction. Any sign you drank somthin' other then tap water, and you two losers gotta snog. Do it."

She pours a shot glass for each of them, nearly spilling what's left in the process. Jiraiya hates to turn down dares, but even he looks apprehensive, and Orochimaru looks like he'll transport jutsu out of here at any moment.

She pouts.

It might have had something to do with the fact they'd each just kissed her, or the three previous bottles of sake they'd already had, but both give a heavy sigh of defeat and eye each other warily before picking up the shots.

"Chicken, Roachy?"

Orochimarus lips tighten with resolve.

"Nervous, fag?"

"Don't call people names you represent yourselff!" Tsunade singsongs and they both shoot her looks of pure hatred. If they remember this tomorrow, she'll have to watch out for frogs in her bed or snakes in her shoes.

But she just grins and makes a drinking motion with her hand, licking her lips and swaying a bit on her stool.

They drink them down as she watches, Orochimaru's lips curled arrogantly as usual, and Jiraiya hocking it back callously like always.

Of course, neither are able to maintain a face like they were drinking good ole' water, though they attempt with shinobi strength. But it wasn't the highest alcohol content sake the bar had or their fourth bottle for nothing. Jiraiya's lips pursed then flattened, and Orochimaru's eyelids twitched unwillingly.

She keened with slurred laughter.

"Saw that boysies! Teehee! Now lemme see you smooch!"

She was definitely three sheets to the wind over there…

The bartender looked as though he would throw them out that identical minute before such shenanigans happened, but moves away because of the homicidal look thrown at him by the prodigy snakenin.

Orochimaru and Jiraiya eyed each other and then abruptly moved in at once, as though fretful to get it over with. Their lips hit each hard and fast, and each tries to overpower the other. They don't use tongue or touch, but nevertheless it looks intimate, the play of male lips moving roughly against one another's, the tense lines of their jaws and the half-closed aggressiveness of their eyes.

Tsunade chortled drunkenly. Stupid dare.

She titters and decides if she remembers this, she will tease them about how long it was (exactly 6 seconds) their whole life.

They break apart quickly, shoving each other furtive looks and Jiraiya reaching for the now almost empty bottle to shove it against his lips and drain it, gasping, much to Tsunades envy.

"Weird." He said, wide-eyed.

"Weird." Orochimaru agreed, looking like he wanted another drink really, really bad.

"Whatever." She threw out.

The sake was gone now. She couldn't count her fingers or feel her face. It was time to go home, and the propertier would probably thank the gods for their leaving.

The three of them trundle out, three silly teenagers, three drunken chuunins, and if their touches on each others shoulders are a little more lingering then usual or their bicker is more flirtatious, they don't really care.

Tsunade even lets Jiraiya's hand settle on the curve of her ass for a good five seconds before slapping it away as usual, though she doesn't really understand why. She lets herself curl a lock of Orochimaru's stupid long hair in her finger for a moment. The boys push each other around every corner and into every lamppost they find, but she sees Jiraiya's laugh is prominent and clear in the air and Orochimaru's silly smile is pronounced stupidly on his lips.

They don't care, because it was just a drunken night in a bar after a mission, and tomorrow they will wake up with only hazy memories and raging hangovers, and go back to being themselves, with Tsunades overbearing temper and Jiraiya's lewdness and Orochimaru's secretive skill. They will fight and train and go on missions and drink themselves silly after them and bounce glares off one another for a thousand more arguments, and a thousand after that.

Just three ninja kids.

The bar has seen the tens of hundreds of ninja teams in its day. It's seen the blood and sweat and tears of a thousand shinobi over the years. It's seen kisses of all types, the sweet and the sultry, the joking and the disgusting. It will see teams come in and flirt and get drunk off their asses and be stupid kids for a thousand times more, nothing special, and nothing new. Just three shinobi who went out on a mission yesterday, and will go on another one tomorrow, and for maybe all the tomorrows to come.

Maybe not.

It all goes into the big pot of life, with the words of three ninjas who came in for a drink tonight, got soused, and all kissed each others lips on a stupid dare. They will come in for lunch tomorrow and bicker loud enough to get kicked out. As per usual. Maybe one day they will be larger than just three ninja, three tired misfits.

But right now they are just a teenage chuunin team, with a simple bowl of life stirred on the stove in with a thousand smiles and shoves and jutsus and bantering fuss and expensive sake and a thousand missions and sticking out tongues and name-calls and spits.

A thousand days past, a thousand days to come, all a thousand kisses deep.

_fin  
><em>

A/N: Yes I definitely liked it; even if I drew it out a bit. Not really very threesome-y but the idea is there. This is before they all got to be screwed up adults, and were screwed up teenagers. But they were screwed up teenagers together, and I think they thought of their lives as interconnected. A thousand kisses deep. Awe.  
>No smut again. I'm a liar! I apologize. I will try very very hard for this next one. Thanks all!<p> 


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